I figured it is time to get my birth story down… although I don’t think this is a story I will be forgetting anytime soon. I remember every moment as if it just happened. Well- it kind of DID just happen. So here goes. I’m going to try to put it down in as much detail as possible more for my sake than for yours. So skip ahead or read it all. Whatever works.
I knew from the beginning that my birth plan was just that. A plan. Not anything that I could be guaranteed of. But as is the case in life, I wanted to plan for the best but to keep in mind that realistically anything could happen. Even in that stage of thinking, I could not have prepared myself for the way it would actually go.
My husband and I had decided about 2 months in to the pregnancy that we would like to haveĀ a homebirth. We prayed about this decision and researched it as well as we could at the time. We chose a midwife who had delivered many babies at our church and we knew we could trust. She was a very kind motherly figure and had worked as a nurse before going into midwifery full time.
I typically would go to see my midwife at her home in Covington, a lengthy 2 hour drive from my humble abode in Newnan. It was a worthy sacrifice. I would rather sit perched on her bed in her house that always smelled of fresh-baked bread any day of the week than to sit on a hospital paper and get poked and prodded and given un-reliable information as to when my baby would come. She came to see me on Thursday, May 12th as she liked to visit her patients in their own home at least once. I was hoping this would be our final visit. She did her first vaginal check on this visit and announced that I was not effaced or dilating. My cervix was very thin and soft but there wasn’t a lot of progress going on. She also warned me that the full moon was on my due date (the 17th) and I could be guaranteed of some contractions and pre-labor for the day before, the day of and the day after the full moon. She said to anticipate the baby to arrive a week late at the earliest. I felt sad but not surprised. I knew that only 5% of women made their due date. My research on pregnancy and childbirth had been thorough to say the least. I settled in for the long haul.
Tuesday May 17th. My friend came to get me to pick up my parents from the airport. I noticed my first contractions beginning. As we waited for the plane to land, we began timing. They were quite workable and were about 10-12 minutes apart with no pattern. My parents arrived and were excited that I was having contractions. Mom made the prediction that he would come on my due date. Ahhhh… how wrong she was. If only! We went to a restaurant that served a dish famous for putting women into labor. My contractions continued throughout and became somewhat stronger but nothing that I couldn’t handle. On our way home we stopped at Wal-Mart. It was the only store open and I needed to pick up an herbal supplement to help me sleep. My midwife wanted me to get as much rest as possible for the road ahead. In the store, the contractions picked up a bit. That night we slept off and on and finally woke up to walk around and try to encourage labor. At 6 AM, I called my midwife to let her know I was experiencing contractions that were about 5 minutes apart but that no pattern had been established as far as length. She made the decision to come that morning. By the time she got here, they had stopped almost completely. A vaginal exam confirmed that I was completely effaced with a thin cervix. She told us to continue inserting Evening Primrose Oil, a supplement that is known to soften the cervix, and to get our rest. Nothing was going to happen anytime soon. Discouraged we went about our day. That afternoon, the contractions picked up again. The intensity was enough to keep us from sleeping but not enough to time or to call the midwife.
On Thursday morning through the afternoon, I noticed a significant increase in the intensity of my contractions. My chiropractor came by the house for the 2nd or 3rd time that week to perform an adjustment and do the Webster technique. The baby was posterior and the Webster would allow more room for the baby to turn. Although the baby being posterior was not an issue necessarily, it would make for a more painful back labor experience as well as possibly slowing down the labor. Ā I also went swimming in the pool to help with the baby’s position and walked up and down the stairs at our apartment complex. I also took Castor Oil, which is known to help induce labor. By Thursday evening, the contractions were much stronger and made sleep almost impossible. We would doze off and on in between contractions. Jesse would wake up for each one and immerse himself completely into everything I was feeling. Early that morning, I called Debbie and let her know I felt it was the real deal. She came over mid-morning and confirmed I was in labor. My contractions never took on a full pattern at this point. She felt the baby’s position and said his head was still off to the side. Jesse and I hit the pool again. I swam for as long as I could. The water was freezing and it was quite breezy outside. I would paddle around for a few minutes and then hug Jesse through a contraction. The contractions felt more bearable in the water. The water would lift me off the ground and I felt weightless. I just hugged Jesse and let him comfort me through each wave. When I went to get out of the pool I felt a sensation that was as if the hand of God was in my spine twisting. Our apartment was a few hundred feet from the pool but I felt like I couldn’t make it that far. I collapsed into Jesse and waited. After a few minutes it passed. Debbie confirmed that the sensation was the baby moving into position. I felt excitement at this point. The baby would be here soon! I calculated in my head how long a typical labor was and realized that if I had a 24 hour labor or even a bit longer, that my baby would be here by that evening! I began to reign in my energy and focus on the task at hand. At about 4 PM Debbie checked me again and had a conversation with Jesse and I. She felt my progress was very slow and that I would need to progress at least a centimeter in the next 2 hours to buy us some time or else I would need to transfer to the hospital. I was crouched on the floor working through contractions. I asked her what I needed to do to make that scenario NOT happen. She instructed us to get back in the pool and to do lunges and continue up the stairs. Before we did this I went to lay down on the bed and Debbie went in to check one more time. As she checked, my friend and doula, Amanda and my chiropractor Katie pushed on my belly to turn the baby. We did this for about 6 minutes and then I proceeded outside. I was focused and determined. Debbie checked me again and said enough progress had been made to buy time. I felt relief and continued to work with Jesse to get everything moving. I would stop to eat occasionally and then get back to work. Later that evening, we all attempted to rest. The resting made the contractions worse. If I fell asleep, I would wake up to them and not be able to control my body so they took over making them seem worse than when I could mentally and physically prepare for them. I finally got up at 11. When I got out of bed, I was shaking uncontrollably from head to toe. Debbie told me I was in the 2nd stage of labor and that my hormones were taking over. She checked me and said I was 6 cm. Ā I was so excited when she told me I was in second stage! I knew I would have my baby soon. Maybe one more hour and then 4 hours of pushing and he would be here! Jesse didn’t leave me side. He helped me to the birthing pool and we continued to labor there for a few hours. The contractions were long and hard but a pattern had still not developed. We worked through the night with me climbing in and out of the warm water to go the bathroom. Debbie tried to feed me popsicles and she and Jesse would work with pelvis to help ease the intensity of the contractions. Jesse and I were exhausted. At around 5 Saturday morning, Debbie had me lay down to check my progress. The news was discouraging to say the least. She told me I was still 6 cm. No progress had been made and she was concerned that the baby may not be able to handle the contractions for much longer as he was beginning to form to the birth canal and cervix. She said she was going to transfer me to the hospital and that an epidural was most likely 100% necessary in order to relax my body. I started crying and felt the fight just leave my body. I felt like I had no strength left. That car ride was definitely the longest car ride of my life. The contractions continued to come over me like waves. Mom sat in the back seat rubbing my neck and I just sat there waiting for it to be over. When we got to the hospital, I felt a renewed sense of energy and strength from some part of me that I wasn’t sure existed. God was right next to me, it was undeniable. I felt him there, giving me strength that I never knew I had. I got lost inside of my own head and started picking up a steady and strong breathing pattern to work through the contractions. When the nurse finally came in she looked at me once and said “ok your first.” They got to work getting the room ready. We explained the situation and that we had been attempting a home birth and would like, if possible to have a natural birth at the hospital. I felt at that point, that if I could make progress that I knew I would have the energy to go on. They were amazing. The said they would break my water and let me continue on. When they went to break my water they found it had already broken and they also found some Meconium in the water. They left us alone and for 4 more hours, Jesse, Debbie Mom Amanda and my Dad worked with me. They held my hands, held the birth ball and rubbed my back. Amanda kept coming up with juice. I asked to take a shower just to get the baby monitor off of me and so I could be left alone from the steady stream of people coming in and out. Jesse, Mom and Debbie helped me in the shower and I worked for a few minutes in there thankful to have the monitors off of my belly and a few minutes of peace.
When I got back out, they checked me again. The news was again discouraging. I remained at 6 cm. No progress. The Dr. came in and gently told me that I would either receive pitocin and an epidural, or that I wouldĀ receiveĀ a c-section. She said that we didn’t know when little man would stop handling the contractions altogether. I felt devastated. I looked at Jesse and he was crying beside me. This was the 2nd time in the time that I have known him that I saw him cry. I felt foggy, like I was in my own world and couldn’t think clearly. I asked her to leave and I asked my Mum and Dad to come closer so we could discuss it. At that point, we were so sad that we had worked so hard and gotten this far only to see what we didn’t want to happen actually happen. She seemed to infer that a c-section would happen anyway. What if I took option 1 only to need option 2. Dad told me that he felt that if I didn’t deliver vaginally I would always regret it. My recovery would be easier and Ā I would have easier labors in the future. I am so glad he was there to give us that advice. In the moment, I’m not sure what I would have picked because I was so out of it. We told them our decision and they got to work setting up the IV. about an hour later, the aesthetician came in to administer the epidural. Let me tell you, if you say you can’t handle pain but can handle that thing, you LIE! That hurt! I experienced my strongest contraction yet just as the needle entered my spine. Jesse held my hand and laid his head on my shoulder giving me more comfort and love than anyone ever could. Everyone left the room and turned out the lights so that we could rest and prepare for pushing. Because the epidural was administered at the end of labor, which is when it is most effective, I went completely numb and dilated to 10 within one hour.
Jesse took his place by my head and rubbed me whispering how much he loved me and good I was doing. Mom took her place by my leg and held one as a nurse held the other. The midwife took her place at the foot of the bed. Amanda stood behind her giving me encouraging smiles and telling me how great I was doing. And Dad? Oh Dad. He stood there grinning from ear to ear holding his cell phone up taping the WHOLE THING. At that point, I did not care. I didn’t care if 50 people I didn’t know were in there. I was so focused on what needed to be done. Katie sat there and instructed me when to push. I missed the fact that I wasn’t able to push on my own and that I couldn’t feel anything. But this was what was happening and I needed to get my baby here and out. All I could see was how peaceful and beautiful the moment was. The people I loved were standing around me, loving me and encouraging me. It was amazing. I was able to focus and drink it in. They told me to push and I pushed and it felt easy and painless. I felt nothing as I pushed. Just excitement to finally hold our son in my arms. With each contraction I pushed and pushed. Mom excitedly described what was happening down below. They asked if I wanted a mirror and I sad ”NO!!!!!” I just wanted to see him when he was here! Not in there. I kept hearing Jesse telling me how much he loved me and how great I was doing. I saw the tiredness in his eyes and the strength that he kept giving to me. I saw Mom’s face light up as she said ”I SEE HAIR!!!” And dad laughing with joy. Everyone told me one more push and he would be here! I pushed with everything I had and the last ounce of strength IĀ possessed. And he was there. In my arms. I felt his slippery body wiggling and his precious head full of hair on my chest. Every fear I had of being a mother was washed away in that moment. A million pieces clicked together and I knew that it would be just fine. The process of giving birth gave me the strength and confidence to be a mother. It was a raw and beautiful moment. When they gave him back to me we immediately started nursing and Jesse came into the bed and we all looked at him in awe and surrounded him with our love. Jesse took off his shirt and we placed the baby on his skin and bonded with our little man.
We weren’t planning on having a baby anytime in the next 10 years. God’s plans aren’t very often the same as ours. My life changed the day I saw those two little lines appear on the pregnancy test. My heart was already full with love for my husband. When our little man came into the world it overflowed. I didn’t think there was any more room in there. I will say that while many say they love their child more than anything I have not experienced this yet. I look at Jesse, the man who did not leave me side and has loved me before Max even knows what the word is, and I know that he will always hold my heart. But when Max came and I held this little being that was Ā a part of both of us, I knew that our lives were about the get a whole lot better.
Afterbirth 